With around 48% of divorces involving children under 18 years old in Australia, creating a co-parenting plan that minimises the negative effects of separation for children still living at home is crucial.
Parenting plans can be complex and require patience, understanding and often, a helping hand.
At Daykin Family Law, our expertise surrounding parenting plans and disputes has helped us get recognised as one of Brisbane’s leading lawyers in parenting and children matters in 2023 and prior years.
We’ve used our knowledge and expertise to create a guide that will help you create a parenting plan, tips for some of the best communication strategies, and to help prepare you to navigate any potential challenges.
What Is Co-Parenting? - Meaning And Benefits
Co-parenting can be understood as a shared parenting arrangement where separated or divorced parents work together to raise their children. It involves communication, collaboration, and mutual decision-making, focusing on your children’s well-being and best interests. There are a range of benefits when parents can successfully co-parent including:
- Provides children with stability and a sense of security.
- Reduces conflict exposure, benefiting children’s emotional health.
- Encourages both parents to remain actively involved in their children’s lives.
- Helps children maintain strong relationships with both parents.
When creating a co/parenting plan, it may be best to ensure compliance the Family Law Act (Cth) 1975, depending on your circumstances. Agreements can be recorded in a Parenting Plan under the Act or consent orders, as some examples.
The Legal Framework Of Co-Parenting In Australia
Australia’s approach to co-parenting after separation is governed by the Family Law Act (Cth) 1975, which prioritises the best interests of children in all parenting decisions.
Under this framework, co-parenting arrangements are encouraged as a means to ensure children have meaningful relationships with both parents post-separation when it is safe to do so.
This Act outlines the responsibilities and rights of parents, stressing the importance of children’s safety and emotional well-being.
It advocates for shared responsibilities and duties, focusing on the best interests of the child as the paramount consideration.
In Australia, the Family Law Act also supports flexible arrangements, catering to the diverse needs of different family structures.
With this in mind, you’re now ready to create your co-parenting plan.
Guide To Developing A Co-Parenting Plan
The most important step in creating a parenting plan or co-parenting plan is to prioritise the needs and well-being of your children above all else. Every decision and discussion should be centred on what is best for them. To ensure your parenting plan achieves this goal, it’s crucial to approach these conversations with openness and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives if it is safe to do so. Here are some examples:
Co-Parenting Plan Element | Specifics to Include |
Living Arrangements |
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Time Arrangements |
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Education Plans |
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Healthcare Arrangements |
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Extra-curricular Activities |
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Parenting Styles and Values |
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Travel and Vacations |
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Communication Guidelines |
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Financial Responsibilities (see note at the end of this table) |
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Dispute Resolution |
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Process for Revising the Plan |
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Special Considerations |
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Transition Guidelines |
|
For certain financial responsibilities relating to child support to be binding and enforceable, these may need to be recorded in a Limited Child Support Agreement or Binding Child Support Agreement.
Communication Strategies For Successful Co-Parenting
Effective communication stands at the heart of successful co-parenting. It lays the foundation for mutual understanding, problem-solving, and decision-making, all crucial in maintaining a healthy environment for your children. Here are our key strategies to enhance communication in a co-parenting arrangement:
Establish Clear Communication Channels
Decide on the most effective and consistent ways to communicate, be it through emails, texts, or phone calls. Utilising co-parenting apps can also streamline communication, keeping it focused and organised. This is of course on the basis it is safe to do so.
Adopt A Business-Like Tone
Approach communication with a professional and respectful tone can assist. This helps in keeping discussions objective and focused on your children’s needs, rather than personal grievances.
Engage In Active Listening
Make a conscious effort to listen and understand the other parent’s perspective. Acknowledging their views does not always require agreement, but it fosters a collaborative environment.
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Not every disagreement needs to escalate. Determine which issues are worth discussing and which can be let go in the larger interest of your children.
Plan Regular Check-Ins
Schedule regular discussions to review how the co-parenting plan is working and address any emerging issues. This can prevent small problems from becoming larger conflicts.
Utilise Professional Support When Needed
In situations where communication becomes challenging, don’t hesitate to seek help from mediators or counsellors. They can offer guidance and strategies to improve dialogue.
Remember, effective co-parenting communication is not about winning arguments but about working together for the best outcomes for your children. By prioritising respectful and clear communication, you pave the way for a more harmonious and effective co-parenting journey.
Navigating Challenges And Conflicts In Co-Parenting
Handling challenges and conflicts is an inevitable part of co-parenting. If these obstacles are not managed effectively, they can impact not only the parents but also the children involved. Here are some strategies to navigate these difficulties:
- Acknowledge and respect differences in parenting styles and perspectives
- Focus on collaborative problem-solving over dwelling on the problem
- Keep children out of conflicts
- Seek professional guidance when conflicts become unmanageable or safety is an issue
- Develop a conflict resolution plan to handle disagreements
- Regularly review and adjust your co-parenting plan as your situations change
Remember, the goal in co-parenting isn’t to avoid conflicts altogether, but to handle them in a way that maintains respect, focuses on solutions, and prioritises your children’s best interests. By adopting these strategies, co-parents can create a stable and positive environment for their children.
Should I Involve A Lawyer During The Co-Parent Planning Process?
Deciding whether to involve a lawyer during the co-parenting planning process is a significant consideration for many parents. Some of the benefits a family lawyer can bring include:
Legal Expertise
Lawyers bring an understanding of family law that is crucial in drafting a parenting plan. They ensure that your agreement is not only fair but also complies with legal standards.
Objective Perspective
Emotions can run high during the planning of co-parenting arrangements. Lawyers provide an objective viewpoint, focusing on the best interests of the children and helping to navigate sensitive discussions.
Ability To Identify Potential Issues
Experienced lawyers can foresee potential problems and address them in the planning stage, which can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts in the future.
Ensuring Enforceability
For a co-parenting plan to be legally enforceable, it often needs to meet specific legal criteria. A lawyer can ensure that all necessary elements are included depending on how any agreement is to be recorded (such as a Parenting Plan or Consent Orders).
Assistance With Mediating Disputes
If disagreements arise during the planning process, lawyers can engage mediators or liaise with the other parent or lawyer, helping to find amicable solutions that serve all parties involved.
While involving a lawyer in the co-parenting planning process is not mandatory, their involvement can bring legal assurance, clarity, and peace of mind, making the process smoother and more effective for everyone involved.
Other Co-Parenting Resources And Support Systems
While there are numerous counselling services, support groups and educational materials you can use to help navigate co-parenting, below are some links that might help when you feel like you need 3rd party support:
- Relationships Australia provides relationship support services for individuals, families and communities contact
- Australian Psychological Society can provide listings of qualified therapists and psychologists specialising in family matters.
- Family Relationship Advice Line is a national telephone service that helps families affected by relationship or separation issues, including information on parenting arrangements after separation
A suitably qualified family lawyer can help advise on the next steps that need to be taken.
Looking For Help With Your Co-Parenting Plan?
In summary, effective co-parenting requires thoughtful planning, clear communication, and sometimes, the guidance of legal professionals.
By carefully considering each step and seeking the right support, you can lay a strong foundation for a positive co-parenting journey.
If you’re navigating the co-parenting process and need expert legal advice, Daykin Family Law is here to help.
Contact us on 07 3852 5490 or via our online contact form to ensure your co-parenting plan is comprehensive, appropriate, safe, and tailored to your family’s unique needs.
Questions about the process of child custody mediation are often asked by our clients. We all know that going through a divorce is tough – for you, your ex-partner, the children, and the wider family. When emotions are high and the future is uncertain, there can be a significant amount of conflict that arises in the decision-making process, leading one or both partners to find themselves unable to compromise or reach a decision in the best interests of the children.
In Australia, as discussed in our recent child custody blog, the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) suggests first and foremost that couples do not use the Courts where possible and instead engage in child custody mediation before escalating to the Court. Even where a parenting order application is made through the Court, the applicant will most likely be obliged to demonstrate that they have attempted to resolve their differences before having the Court intervene.
Custody is no longer a term used by the Family Law Courts, opting instead for terms associated with what time a child spends with each parent and what communications they will have. If it is safe, both parents are encouraged to play an active role in their children’s lives for the benefit of their wellbeing. However, it can be difficult to come to an agreed decision on issues such as health, living arrangements, finances, and education.
When parents can’t agree during child custody mediation, that’s where a mediator comes in. Your family lawyer can organise for an experienced Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner to facilitate discussions between both parties in an impartial, calm manner. The goal of mediation in custody cases is to come to an agreement approved by both sides that can be turned into either a Parenting Plan or approved by the Courts in a formal Consent Order if required.
Mediators are not there to make judgments or take sides. They are engaged to essentially chair a meeting between both parties, to facilitate proactive discussion in a safe, controlled environment that allows a resolution to be reached which is in their children’s best interests.
How do I go about getting a mediator?
There are several options for child custody mediation. The most cost-effective is the use of the Family Relationship Centres, Family Relationships Australia, or other public and community-based services. These services can assist parents to discuss the issues and potentially write up a new Parenting Plan. Legal representatives are not permitted in that process, however.
Private child mediation services also exist, usually at a higher cost. Your family lawyer can attend and represent you throughout the mediation. This can be helpful to receive advice on the spot regarding the law relating to your particular matter, your rights, and the impact of any proposals. A solicitor can then draft the agreement terms on the day if it is appropriate, usually to be formalised soon after.
Going to Court is not usually a preferable course of action and is usually an expensive one. Mediation allows you to come to an acceptable resolution swiftly and cost-effectively.
When isn’t mediation appropriate?
Sometimes, mediation in custody cases isn’t an appropriate course of action, particularly in circumstances involving family violence. In such cases, the support of a lawyer can assist in effectively dealing with challenging cases to ensure your interests are protected. If there are allegations of abuse, your lawyer can advise whether the case should proceed in Court instead of with a mediator.
Should I seek legal advice before going into child custody mediation?
The most effective mediation happens when both parties have sought legal advice about their circumstance beforehand. You are much more likely to be prepared, to understand the probable outcomes, your options, and how a Court might deal with your matter. By figuring this out in advance, and understanding your legal position, both parties are more likely to be more informed and will have considered in advance of negotiations what they are or aren’t willing to compromise on.
Your lawyer can come to mediation sessions and advise you as the session progresses. Sometimes mediation can become heated or tense when sensitive and important issues are addressed and having your lawyer with you ensures you have your say and your interests and those of your children are prioritised throughout.
How to approach mediation
Preparation is key to effective mediation. With the support of your lawyer, you can approach mediation with more of an open mind, ready to listen and to develop a mutually satisfactory agreement. Remember to keep your children and their best interests in mind and be aware of the impact of conflict on them. Importantly, it’s best to approach mediation as a place to solve parenting problems rather than bring up any other marital issues.
Mediation in custody cases isn’t always smooth sailing, but by remembering that you are there to find a solution for your children and listening to the advice of your lawyer and the guidance of the mediator, you are much more likely to reach a settlement that works for both of you.
What can be resolved in mediation?
The most common topics that are discussed and resolved in child custody mediation are things like living arrangements or relocation, child support, health issues, education, religion, how time will be split between parents and how school holidays will be spent, overseas travel, and the division of payments for things like after-school activities.
What is the process of mediation?
When a mediator is appointed, each parent is normally invited to a pre-mediation meeting separately to establish whether the case is suitable for child custody mediation. If you have appointed a lawyer, they will advise you whether this is the case and what available options there are.
Both parties can then be asked to prepare a short statement to bring to the initial session, outlining what they hope to achieve from mediation.
Each mediation session can run for a shorter period, such as around three hours, or even a full day. In some cases, it can take several sessions to resolve some of the more significant issues. This is expedited if both parties come prepared and willing to compromise.
If no agreement can be reached in mediation, then a certificate will be issued by the mediator. Either parent can then file for parenting proceedings in the Court. Such a certificate will also be issued if a genuine effort isn’t made by one parent to resolve the dispute, if a parent fails to attend, or for another relevant reason.
I am considering child custody mediation, what should my next steps be?
Where possible, it would be prudent to speak to a family lawyer who can help you understand your options before appointing a mediator. Daykin Family Law is expertly skilled in children’s and parenting matters including child custody mediation, and works closely with psychologists, social workers, and mediators to help you and your family stay out of Court wherever possible. We can recommend a suitable mediator for your matter and assist in inviting the other parent to mediation.
At Daykin Family Law, we place a high importance on assisting clients to reduce conflict and maintain respect in the co-parenting relationship after separation as much as possible. Shannon Daykin is an experienced Family and Divorce Lawyer. An Accredited Family Law Specialist, Shannon was recently named a Leading Family & Divorce Lawyer (Recommended, Brisbane) and a Leading Parenting & Children’s Matters Lawyer (Recommended, Queensland) in the prestigious Doyle’s Guide 2018 and 2019. In 2019, Daykin Family Law was named in the Doyle’s Guide as a Leading Family & Divorce Law Firm (Recommended).
We give you expert legal advice on the most appropriate and cost-effective course of action for you and your family. Contact us at (07) 3338 5645 to make an appointment for a fixed fee initial consultation today.
If you’ve landed on this page, the chances are you’re looking for advice on the divorce process and how to apply for a divorce. If you have been separated for 12 months and you can satisfy the court that this is the case, then you have grounds for divorce. In this article, we’ll answer some of the most common questions regarding divorce applications so you can make an informed decision about your next steps.
Daykin Family Law offer a range of services to support the process of divorce and separation, including child support, child custody, property settlements and family mediation services. View our blog for a wealth of information on various Family Law matters, and if you need further assistance, do not hesitate to get in touch.
Who can apply for divorce?
To be eligible to apply for a divorce in Australia, either you or your spouse must answer yes to at least one of the following:
- Were born in Australia or have become an Australian citizen by descent (born outside Australia and at least one parent was an Australian citizen and your birth is registered in Australia).
- Are an Australian citizen by grant of Australian citizenship (a citizenship certificate will be required).
- Are lawfully present in Australia and intend to continue living in Australia. You must have been living in Australia for at least the last 12 months.
You’ll need to satisfy the Court that you have lived separately and apart for at least 12 months prior to making a divorce application and that there is no likelihood of getting back together and resuming married life.
How do I know if I have grounds for divorce?
Since the introduction of the Family Law Act in 1975, the only grounds now available for divorce is that the marriage has broken down irretrievably Section 48 of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) sets out that to establish the fact that a marriage has broken down irretrievably, applicants need to prove both that they have been separated for at least 12 months and, secondly, that there is no reasonable likelihood of the parties resuming cohabitation.
What if we still live together? Can we still apply for a divorce?
It is possible to be separated and still live together in the same home. Mostly this happens for just a short period of time, however for some spouses it can extend to months and even years. Provided you meet criteria of a 12 month separation prior to your divorce application, you are able to proceed, however you will be required to provide the court with additional information.
These are usually in the form of two affidavits; one provided by you and one by a family member or friend, detailing the separation. For example, this could include things like changes in sleeping arrangements, the division of finances, household duties and a reduction in joint attendance at social events, amongst others. There isn’t a set list, but you’ll need enough evidence to persuade the Court that you are no longer a couple.
If you want a divorce but have been living under the same roof, it is advised that you seek legal advice.
How do I submit a divorce application?
How you submit a divorce application depends on whether it is a sole application or a joint application. If both parties agree, you do not need to serve any documents on the other party and attendance in Court is not required unless you select to attend.
However, if you make a sole divorce application, the process is more complicated. Firstly, you will need to inform the Court that you are applying for a divorce, making you the ‘applicant’ and your spouse the ‘respondent’. Divorce papers will need to be served on the other party, and the application must be stamped with the seal of the Court by the Court Registry. You may not serve the documents yourself. You must use a third party (such a paid process server, friend or relative), or by pre-paid post to the respondent’s last known address if they sign a document acknowledging they were served.
If a sole divorce application is made, and you and your spouse have children under the age of 18, a Court appearance will be required. If the respondent opposes the granting of a divorce order, they can file a response in the Court within 28 days (for example, if the respondent can demonstrate that the parties haven’t been separated for 12 months).
What if my spouse refuses to accept the divorce application service, or cannot be located?
If your spouse refuses to sign for the divorce serving (known as an Acknowledgment of Service) then the server must provide a photograph of the respondent (spouse) and for the server to confirm that this was the person served and that they refused.
If you are unable to locate your spouse, you can still apply for divorce but the Court requires evidence that you have attempted to locate them, either by serving divorce documents at their last known address, making enquiries with the respondent’s family, friends or colleagues . This will need to be backed up by evidence (affidavits and postal receipts, for example). An order for substituted service may need to be sought.
What happens after I file my divorce application in Court?
Once the application is filed, the registrar needs to be satisfied that ‘irretrievable breakdown’ (as detailed above) exists. If there are no children under 18, then there is no need for either party to appear personally at a hearing. However, if there are children of the marriage under 18, one of the parties is required to attend (most likely applicant).
The court order for divorce is granted in 2 steps.
- Step 1:
If the Court is satisfied that arrangements for the children have been made then a Court Order (or Divorce Order) will be made. - Step 2:
The Divorce Order then becomes final, usually within a month and a day, and this becomes the actual date that the Divorce Order takes effect. A copy of the Divorce Order will be mailed to you and your ex-spouse, stamped with the Court seal. After the Divorce Order takes effect, you are able to re-marry if you wish.
Do I need a lawyer to process my divorce?
Some people apply for a divorce without a lawyer, which can be suitable if the application is joint. It can be more complicated, as we set out above, for sole applications.
Is a Divorce Order all I need to finalise my financial matters?
No, a divorce is only the legal severance of your marriage. To finalise your property settlement and/or spousal maintenance agreement in a binding and enforceable way, further steps need to be taken to enter into either an application for consent orders or a Binding Financial Agreement. We can guide you through the process and advise on which avenue is best for your situation.
If you can’t reach agreement on property settlement and/or spousal maintenance matters, then mediation may be a good way forward. Court proceedings should always be a last resort.
Are there any critical time limits I need to be aware of once I am divorced?
Yes, once a Divorce Order takes effect terminating your marriage, a time limit starts ticking. You and your ex-spouse will then both have 12 months to file in the Court for property settlement and/or spousal maintenance. If you don’t, you may be out of time and this may cause you financial detriment. You can seek the Court’s leave to proceed with an application out of time, but success is not guaranteed and it can be a costly process.
We recommend that you obtain expert family law advice at the time a divorce is applied for to ensure that your interests are protected.
Steps needed outside of a Divorce Application
After separation, you can be left to make very important decisions at what can be an emotional, tumultuous time. It is therefore recommended that you seek objective, expert legal advice to ensure that you receive the best outcome for you and your family.
It is also advisable to obtain legal advice if you need assistance in making parenting arrangements, dividing assets such as property after separation or in the event that spouses are separated but living together.
If you are seeking legal advice about your separation, or just need to understand your divorce application options further, Daykin Family Law can help. Shannon Daykin is an experienced Family and Divorce Lawyer, recently named as a Leading Family & Divorce Lawyer (Recommended, Brisbane) and Leading Parenting & Children’s Matters Lawyer (Recommended, Queensland) in the prestigious Doyle’s Guide 2018 and 2019. In 2019, Daykin Family Law was named in the Doyle’s Guide as a Leading Family & Divorce Law Firm (Recommended).
We give you expert legal advice on the most appropriate and cost effective course of action for you and your family. Contact us on (07) 3338 5645 to make an appointment for a fixed fee initial consultation today.
